


i wanna ruin our friendship

by shinelikestars



Category: Butterfly Soup (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Jealous™ Noelle, Pining, akarsha does not understand noelle, diya and min are lovely, miscommunication (kinda), noelle does not understand emotion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-14 22:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13017873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinelikestars/pseuds/shinelikestars
Summary: noelle is not accustomed to jealousy. noelle is also not accustomed to girls like akarsha. naturally, when those two things combine, life starts to get a bit messy.(AKA the one where Akarsha flirts and Noelle doesn't like it; based on a request from my Tumblr)





	i wanna ruin our friendship

**Author's Note:**

> title from "Jenny" by Studio Killers
> 
> This is based on a fic request I got on my Tumblr: "Can we have awkward Noelle being jealous when she notices others flirting with Akarsha and Akarsha seemingly flirting back (but she's just friendly) and Noelle doing her best to woo Akarsha? Ofc with Diya and Min being cute and supportive"
> 
> To which my response is yes, yes you absolutely can have that, and here it is. Hope you enjoy!

Jealousy is not something Noelle is accustomed to.

 

After all, she’s an honor roll student with a 4.0 GPA and a 2390 on the SAT (which, naturally, she’ll replace with a 2400 on her second try). Who on Earth could she possibly be jealous of? There are people with a level of success to _aspire_ to, of course, the UC Berkeley grads and members of Forbes’ 30 Under 30, but there is a clear-cut difference between aspiration and jealousy, and Noelle has always made sure to never cross that line. Jealousy is for the weak; jealousy is for those who know they’ve already hit their peak. She hasn’t hit her peak. She is strong. She is not the kind of girl who gets jealous. 

 

Akarsha is not something Noelle is accustomed to, either. She’s loud and brash and fearless, doesn’t seem to think about what others have to say about her and views rules as a challenge rather than a certainty. Noelle’s never seen her come within fifty feet of a textbook — nobody’s seen that, as far as she knows. Akarsha is weird, but not quirky-interesting- _New York Magazine_ -worthy weird, just… _bizarre_. Akarsha doesn’t really care, and Noelle can’t even pretend to understand her.

 

So it only makes sense that it would take a girl like Akarsha to introduce her to an emotion like jealousy. 

 

••••

It all starts when Akarsha finds a list of terrible pick-up lines on the Internet. Naturally, because it’s Akarsha, she prints it out and brings it to lunch the next day.

 

“I’m gonna get _all_ the ladies now,” Akarsha says smugly, placing the sheet of paper in the middle of the table. “And all the boys. There’s not gonna be a single person at this school who doesn’t wanna date me — well, uh, aside from the obvious,” she adds when Min slings an arm around Diya and sends her a death glare. 

 

Noelle stares at the list with a strange mixture of contempt and something else she can’t quite place, something that sits hard and low in her stomach. She can feel Akarsha’s eyes on her, so she clears her throat and says, “You do realize that instead of wasting your time printing this out, you could have been studying for our English test.” 

 

“What, _Romeo and Juliet_? They’re idiots who both die in the end. Easy,” Min scoffs. 

 

“Why are you defending her? She’s definitely used a good half of these pickup lines on your girlfriend before,” Noelle points out. Diya flushes bright red, and she almost feels bad. 

 

“Yeah, but obviously they didn’t work,” Min mutters. It’s easy to tell that the comment has gotten to her, though — she tugs Diya closer to her and goes quiet. At least Diya doesn’t seem to mind; she rests her head on Min’s shoulder in what would be an admittedly adorable display if it were anyone but Min and Diya. (Sometimes it’s hard to fathom that Diya could possibly want to date someone with a passion for violence and a vast collection of butterfly knives. Min’s the exact opposite of everything Noelle had formerly pictured for her best friend, but if it somehow makes Diya happy, she’ll find a way to tolerate it.)

 

Akarsha grins and grabs the printout, shoving it into the pocket of her windbreaker. “Well, this has been great, but these lines are just begging to be used. If anyone cares to watch a master in the art of flirting, I’ll be in the courtyard,” she announces, standing to leave. 

 

“Be there in a minute,” Min says, untangling herself from Diya. Once Akarsha’s a good ten feet away, she starts to cackle. “Oh man. This is gonna be an epic shitshow. Diya, you coming?”

 

Diya shrugs, plopping a grape from Noelle’s lunchbox into her mouth. “Sure. Why not.” She turns to Noelle, who still can’t quite believe that this is reality. “What about you?”

 

“No thank you. I have better things to do than watch Akarsha embarrass herself,” she tells her. It’s meant to be snarky, but Diya’s raised brow indicates that it came out closer to pathetic. 

 

A lesser person would comment on the discrepancy between her words and her tone, but it’s Diya, so she simply nods and allows Min to lead her away.

 

(Diya, however, is still not a saint. So of course a few minutes later, Noelle’s phone buzzes with a text. _If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think you were jealous :)_. She doesn’t respond.) 

 

She gets a 98 on their English test. Akarsha scrapes by with a 96. Later, her mother will ask her what happened to those two extra points, if she wasn’t focused enough, if she was perhaps distracted.

 

And Noelle won’t want to admit it, but yeah. Maybe she was.

 

••••

Liz is a nice girl. She never stops smiling, even when Min is being particularly difficult about giving up her butterfly knives for the afternoon. Noelle thinks her cheeks have to be sore. After all, according to Diya, it takes 43 muscles to smile (though she’s somewhat in doubt of that claim — Diya doesn’t always verify her sources if she thinks the information is cool enough). 

 

Liz is a nice girl, and so Noelle would normally put her in the same category as Diya. A kind person, not a threat. Someone who doesn’t require as much effort to tolerate. A potential friend, even, if she were to ever find enough time to handle another one of those. 

 

The point is that on an average day, Noelle wouldn’t expect the urge to snarl at her or wish for her sudden disappearance. That’s not to say there wasn’t initially a bit of resentment for Liz’s stunt on the first day of baseball club. When she first joined the team, Akarsha used to joke with her, _Liz is friend, not food_ (Diya had to explain the reference — _Finding Nemo_ wasn’t exactly at the top of her list of priorities in third grade). She’s kind of taken the phrase to heart. Liz is a senior. Liz is not competition. Liz is nice — she doesn’t need to worry about her. 

 

But today has already been far from an average day. Akarsha’s still obsessed with those stupid pickup lines from two weeks ago, and she’d been so infuriating at lunch that Noelle is relatively certain she missed at least one question in her practice SAT workbook because of it. The test is on Saturday, and she really doesn’t have time to be messing around with mistakes, but leave it to Akarsha to ruin that for her. Lunch wasn’t long enough for her to grade the test in the workbook, so she’ll have to wait until after baseball practice to see if her suspicions are correct. If they are, then Akarsha’s in deep trouble with her.

 

(Noelle doesn’t like making mistakes. People destined for UC Berkeley, people destined for success, don’t make mistakes on SAT practice tests — or much of anything, really. She has to be better than that.) 

 

(Noelle also doesn’t like that Akarsha can make her make mistakes. She’s inconsequential, a silly girl in a cheap windbreaker. She should not have this kind of effect.)

 

And because today has already been far from average, Noelle supposes she shouldn’t be all that surprised when her attitude toward Liz suddenly changes. Well, it doesn’t just change — _skyrockets_ to the other end of the spectrum.

 

The irritation has been building in her all day, starting with the typical nagging from her mother as she’d walked out the door that morning, then only further compounded by her Akarsha-induced mistakes on the practice SAT at lunch. Her quiz in Honors Chemistry had felt a little too easy, so that’s got her worried, too, because usually when things _feel_ easy, the grade ends up reflecting the exact opposite (and if the work actually was easy, then she’s likely not being challenged enough, and that will never adequately prepare her for Berkeley or an Ivy). And to top it all off, there’s a project due in Spanish III Monday that she _still_ hasn’t started on, thanks to all that stupid SAT prep, so of course her mother is going to tear into her if (or more like when) she finds out. 

 

Suffice it to say that she’s on the verge of a breaking point by the afternoon. The moment the bell rings to signal the end of school for the day, she power-walks to the locker room, hoping that maybe if she feels like she’s moving in Fast Forward, practice will seem to pass by with according speed. She has so much to do, and she really doesn’t have time to be here, anyway, but her mom will get suspicious if she comes home early when she’s supposed to be “tutoring”, and Diya will give her that awful disappointed-puppy face if she skips practice, and it’ll all just be a hundred times more miserable, so. Here she stays.

 

Still, Noelle feels ready to crawl out of her skin as she sits on the bench, half-heartedly participating in Akarsha and Min’s conversation. All her frustration and anxiety is bubbling up inside, eating at her like acid, trying to claw its way out, and while violence certainly is not her forte (Diya says there are second-graders out there stronger than her), every time Min makes a dumb comment about school or Akarsha does one of her ridiculous fake screams, she wants to punch something. 

 

She feels a little out of control.

 

That’s not good. She needs to be in control. 

 

She can feel Diya’s eyes on her as they make their way to the baseball field. Diya is not a woman of many spoken words, but Noelle can guarantee she’ll be on the receiving end of a long text-message spiel from her friend if she doesn’t start acting normal. Diya worries about her far more than she should — in fact, Noelle’s pretty sure she worries about everyone but herself. It’s yet another reason why she and Min seem like such an odd pairing; Diya worries about everything, and Min doesn’t care about anything (well, anything other than Diya, baseball, and violence). Every logical theory out there says they should never work, but if it makes Diya happy, then Noelle’s willing to occasionally abandon logic.

 

(Oh, God. She can’t believe she even _thought_ that.)

 

Chryssa puts them through their paces with a couple of laps around the track, then splits them into groups for one-on-one work. When it’s not their turn with Chryssa, Liz instructs them to go find somewhere to practice whatever they think they need work on. Min wants to find the most secluded place on the field possible (God only knows why — probably because she’s hidden something from Liz and wants to show it off), but for some reason, Akarsha insists on sticking by Liz. Noelle and Diya are indifferent, so in spite of Min’s protests, Akarsha wins.

 

Within minutes, Akarsha’s hidden motive becomes clear. When Liz comes by to check on them, she instantly adopts a megawatt smile and bats her eyelashes in a way that should not be nearly as charming as it is. “Hey Liz, do you know what my shirt is made out of?” she asks, and Noelle knows that devilish look in her eyes all too well. Something is up. 

 

Liz’s brow furrows, and she chews on her lip, clearly attempting to give Akarsha a legitimate response. “Chryssa ordered them, so I can’t say for sure, but, uh… I think 90% polyester, 10% spandex?” she offers hesitantly. 

 

“Actually, it’s girlfriend material,” Akarsha says proudly. Suddenly, the idea of the San Andreas Fault gifting them with a catastrophic earthquake seems incredibly enticing. Noelle _really_ wouldn’t mind the ground swallowing them whole right now. 

 

“Akarsha, you’re an embarrassment,” she bites out. Diya, too, looks embarrassed for the other girl, though Min is cackling quietly (well, her version of quietly, which translates to “irritatingly loudly”).

 

Liz, however, doesn’t seem to mind. “You’re funny,” she giggles, “but I think I’m a little too old for you. Graduating in May, remember?” 

 

“Age is just a number,” Akarsha instantly shoots back. Min’s laughter is crossing into hyena territory.

 

“Akarsha, you’re a great girl, but you’re a freshman and I’m a senior, so it’s going to be a no from me. And we’re here for baseball, anyway, okay?” Liz says, sobering up quickly. “Now, if you have an actual baseball-related question to ask me, go ahead, but otherwise, I’m going to move on to the next group.”

 

Naturally, Akarsha manages to construct some convoluted inquiry about proper regulation stance that takes Liz a good ten minutes to answer, so Noelle’s forced to stand there and watch as Akarsha continues to subtly (but not so masterfully) flirt with the older girl. She’s operating under the guise of practicing catches and throws with Diya and Min, but the other two are putting in the majority of the work — something about the Akarsha and Liz scenario is just too frustratingly enthralling for Noelle to resist.

 

It’s so enthralling, in fact, that when Diya pitches a particularly hard ball, Noelle doesn’t even see it coming her way until it’s nailed her in the chest.

 

“ _Ow!_ ” Wind knocked out of her, Noelle’s left doubled over, clutching at her chest, as Liz rushes over to inspect her for serious damage.

 

“Hahaha, holy _shit_ , Diya got you right in the boob!” Min’s practically giddy, and through the haze of pain, Noelle makes a mental note to kill her for that later.

 

Diya’s apologizing profusely, surely breaking a personal record for the most words spoken within the span of a minute (not as though that’d take much), and Akarsha, naturally, strolls over like she doesn’t have a care in the world. 

 

“Are we gonna have to amputate?” she deadpans, squeezing in between Liz and Diya to get a better look. 

 

“Shut. Up,” Noelle grits out, some of the air finally returning to her lungs. Her chest still aches, but she forces herself to stand up like a normal person — she has no desire to be the sole source of Min’s entertainment for a moment longer.

 

“Are you alright, Noelle?” Liz asks. She places what is likely meant to be a comforting hand on her shoulder, but it only serves as the tipping point in Noelle’s anger. She loses it.

 

“Do I _look_ alright, Liz?” she hisses. “Perhaps if you’d actually been paying attention to us and not indulging Akarsha’s ridiculous flirtations, you would’ve seen Diya throwing a pitch I was in no way prepared to catch and stopped her before this ever happened!”

 

Noelle regrets the words the moment they leave her mouth; Liz visibly flinches, hurt flashing across her face for the briefest of seconds before she quickly replaces it with a cool, composed smile. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Noelle,” she says calmly. “I understand that injury must hurt a lot. Akarsha will go grab you an ice pack from the locker room, and you can just sit out and watch for the rest of practice today. Wouldn’t want to risk further injuring you, right?”

 

Liz walks away before Noelle gets the chance to apologize.

 

She concludes that the pit in her stomach feels infinitely worse than a baseball to the chest.

 

••••

Thankfully, Liz is a beyond forgiving person, so she accepts Noelle’s sincere apology the next day with nothing but grace and kindness. Things are still a little awkward for the next week or so, but Noelle tries not to think about it too much. Her mother would tell her to do the bare minimum to maintain a professional working relationship, and she apologized, so that’s it, right? At this point, she honestly just wants to forget about it and move on.

 

Akarsha, weirdly enough, hasn’t said anything about the Liz incident since the day of — she’s still far too engrossed in her quest to seduce the entire freshman class. Diya and Min, however, are less willing to let bygones be bygones. Despite intensive efforts on Noelle’s part to assure her otherwise, Diya is convinced that Noelle is entering a state of crisis and must be asked at least three times a day if she’s okay. Min, on the other hand, takes every opportunity she gets to bring up her baseball to the chest, to the point where surely even Akarsha must be tired of hearing about it. Noelle certainly is. 

 

Nevertheless, she does what she does best — throws herself into her studies — and prays that this will all be a thing of the past come March. That day had simply been an aberration in her personality, a stress-induced glitch, and she’s got herself completely under control now. She has to be under control. Noelle doesn’t have time for a breakdown.

 

Apparently, fate thinks otherwise, because exactly two weeks after the situation with Liz, she finds herself teetering on the edge of chaos once again.

 

She’s sitting in Honors English 9, a class they miraculously all share together (she’ll never understand how Min wormed her way into an honors class, let alone an honors _English_ class, but whatever). Their normal teacher is out sick with the flu, so they’re on the third day of what Diya likes to call the Substitute Teacher Rodeo. She always says it’s like watching a rider try to stay on a bull, with the rider being the substitute and the bucking bull obviously being the class. Some substitutes will try harder than others, some will even last for a good couple of minutes, but in the end, they always relent — they always get thrown off. In this case, Diya’s analogy has certainly held up. Today’s substitute appears to be fresh out of college, with an earnest smile and an offensively neon cardigan (Akarsha, of course, loves it), so she attempts to maintain control over the class for an impressive ten minutes. By 12:20, though, she’s given in and hands them a worksheet on their latest novel, _The Handmaid’s Tale_. 

 

Noelle and Diya have them done in fifteen minutes. Akarsha’s already got it tucked into her backpack, probably to take home and Google the answers for later, while Min isn’t even pretending to work. She has her name scrawled on the front side, but that’s it. Noelle’s learned not to expect much more from her in the classroom.

 

The Linear Algebra workbook in front of her is full of problems just begging to be answered, and normally, Noelle wouldn’t have trouble tuning out the noise around her. This time is a little different, though, because the main source of her distraction doesn’t seem to be the increasingly loud classroom. No, it seems to have more to do with the fact that Akarsha is chatting up one of the most popular girls in their grade instead of talking to Diya and Min like she usually does.

 

(Noelle doesn’t want to think about why that, out of all things, is a distraction.)

 

Grace Alleyne. Half Barbadian, half Korean, one hundred percent disgustingly attractive. While she’s not anywhere near competition in terms of her GPA (she _never_ makes it into the top ten for exam scores), rumor has it that she earned a 35 on her ACT without even studying. Noelle has to wonder if she’s one of those people who simply doesn’t try in school because she doesn’t see the point. She can definitely see Grace equally happy at UC Santa Clara or UCLA, but she suspects that with Grace’s charm, she could go anywhere and network her way into a decent job. 

 

(Noelle envies her a little for that. People skills don’t come as easily to her.)

 

(Then again, the goal isn’t decent. The goal is _spectacular_.)

 

She’s spoken to Grace maybe once in her life — in eighth grade, Noelle’s pretty sure. They’d both been competing for president of National Junior Honor Society — Noelle because she wanted the position for her application to summer camps, Grace because her parents had apparently decided she wasn’t trying hard enough. Naturally, since everything in middle school was a popularity contest and Noelle had asked the teacher about the homework a hundred too many times, Grace won. Noelle had congratulated her on her win, as was the polite thing to do, and that had been the end of it.

 

She’s not sure Grace even knows her name.

 

She leans forward a little in her seat without really meaning to. Grace has one perfect curl wrapped around her finger, and she’s laughing at something Akarsha’s said. Akarsha is grinning wide, eyes sparkling, a couple of stray hairs poking out from her buns. “Uh, excuse me, ma’am? I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?” she says. Noelle can tell by her tone that it’s one of those stupid pickup lines, disguised as a joke but actually intended to be flirtatious.

 

What she can’t tell is why the thought of that makes her stomach hurt.

 

“Maybe you can,” Grace replies with a lilt in her voice that leaves Noelle nauseous.

 

To her right, Min lets out a snort and taps her on the shoulder. “Noelle, what the fuck is wrong with you? You look like an angry Chihuahua. Did you not get a perfect score on your SAC or somethin’?” 

 

“It’s the SAT, and I don’t get my score for another month,” Noelle automatically corrects, still fixated on Grace and Akarsha. 

 

To her left, Diya’s examining her carefully, a small frown apparent on her features. “Is something wrong?” she asks quietly. 

 

“Everything’s fine,” Noelle tells her. Diya doesn’t look convinced.

 

“Wait, how about this one — I’m writing an essay on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you?” 

 

Okay, _that’s it_. She can’t stand to listen to this abominable display for a minute longer. 

 

“Excuse me, Akarsha and Grace, but some of us are actually trying to get work done here,” she interrupts, flashing the pairing a smile that she hopes comes off exactly as patronizingly as intended. “Could you try to keep it down over there?” 

 

Grace sighs and turns back around in her seat, effectively ending her conversation with Akarsha. She’s never been one to persevere in the face of hardship.

 

But Noelle doesn’t miss the brief glimpse of hurt that flickers in Akarsha’s eyes for the tiniest of moments.

 

(And a part of her almost feels bad.)

 

••••

She wants to make up for it.

 

Her mother would be ashamed if she ever found out, but Noelle feels guilty. Ever since the situation with Grace in English class, Akarsha’s been acting weird around her, and she wants to remedy that. Maybe, for once, she went too far. It’s bizarre that a simple snide remark would drastically affect someone normally so impenetrable, but she knows by now not to put logical and Akarsha in the same sentence. Those two things never mix. 

 

So she utilizes one of her best, most-practiced skills and does her research. Akarsha’s diet largely consists of Doritos and Twinkies. She can’t roll her Rs properly. Every year, she asks for a different kind of volumizing shampoo for Christmas because she’s convinced her hair is too thin, but her parents never buy her any. She figured out she was bisexual in eighth grade. She’s interested in software engineering and wants to go to UC Berkeley. Her favorite color is yellow, and she has a fear of cats due to an incident in elementary school she refuses to elaborate on.

 

Of course, Noelle never actually directly asks Akarsha about any of this herself. That would be too obvious. Instead, she relies on Diya, Min, and casual observation. The combination proves to be surprisingly effective, and by the end of the week, Noelle has deemed herself a semi-expert in all things Akarsha. The accomplishment almost feels LinkedIn-worthy.

 

One consequence of this accomplishment, however, has been that Diya and Min now kind of know about… whatever this is, and whatever it might mean for their sort-of-kind-of-friendship. One day, in the midst of a particularly fascinating line of Akarsha questioning, Diya texts her, _Kinda seems like you’re feeling things Noelle :)_.

 

Noelle refuses to acknowledge that text. Or her emotions, for that matter. She’s just doing what her mother has always advised her to, maintain the bare minimum for their friendship, right? Akarsha has obviously been hurt by something Noelle’s done, and she needs to make amends or else risk their friendship. It’s not about feelings; it’s about sustainability. 

 

Diya and Min don’t bother to hide their shared belief that it’s much more than that. Noelle pretends to let it irritate her.

 

The Monday after the Grace situation, Noelle shows up to school fully prepared to apologize, armed with a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos (she’d had to stash them under her bed so her mother didn’t find them) and a yellow bottle of Herbal Essences volumizing shampoo (Noelle’s mother avoids Target like the plague, so Diya had managed to sneak it into the cart on her family’s weekend Target run). She’s got it all planned out: she’ll pull Akarsha aside before class, give her the goods, and apologize. Then they’ll shake hands, or whatever people do when they’re over being mad at each other. Problem solved — Akarsha will be happy, and Noelle can stop feeling like something’s gnawing at her stomach all the time. It’s a foolproof plan, really.

 

Except it’s not foolproof, because when Diya and Akarsha walk into the courtyard that morning, they’re not alone. A petite, pale brunette is accompanying them, dressed in a flowy dress accentuated by ridiculously dainty jewelry. She’s pretty, Noelle thinks to herself. Then she shakes her head. What kind of stupid thought is that?

 

“ _Sorry_ ,” Diya mouths at her as she approaches, Akarsha and the new girl not far behind. Noelle doesn’t have time to ask for an explanation before the other two catch up.

 

“Noelle, this is Camille,” Akarsha says. The brunette girl waves; she looks stupidly awake and sunny for eight in the morning. Noelle hates her already. “Her family just moved here from France,” Akarsha adds. “They’re on the same street as me and Diya now. Her mom came over last night to ask if we could walk together, since Camille’s new to the area and all.” 

 

The tension in the air must be palpable, because Diya’s desire to melt into the ground is all too obvious. She’s rocking back and forth on her feet, like she could run away at any second, and Noelle honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she did.

 

“It is nice to meet you,” Camille says pleasantly, and _God_ does Noelle want to wipe that ridiculous grin off her face. “Noelle, is it? _Parlez-vous français_?” 

 

“No, I don’t speak French. Sorry to disappoint.” Camille arches a brow at her response, and Noelle realizes that she’s probably not making a great first impression. It’s a delicious feeling to not care if she is.

 

“C’mon, Frenchman, we better get you a schedule,” Akarsha finally speaks up, tugging on Camille’s elbow. 

 

“Frenchman?” Noelle questions. Is Akarsha talking to her, or — 

 

Oh no. Oh, _absolutely not_. Akarsha’s been referring to her by that awful nickname for months now, and she suddenly decided to just give it away to the first new student who showed up? 

 

Wait. She’s been telling Akarsha not to call her that ever since she came up with it. She should be overjoyed that Akarsha has found someone else to torture with it. 

 

Akarsha and Camille are gone before she even realizes she’s upset.

 

••••

As it turns out, Camille doesn’t share any classes with them, so Noelle considers that to be a small blessing. However, they’re still going to have to interact on a daily basis, since Akarsha apparently plans on integrating her into their friend group. Strange, she tells Diya, since Camille seems like she’d be better off with Grace Alleyne and her type. Also extremely irritating, but Noelle doesn’t mention that part.

 

The Doritos and shampoo burn a proverbial hole in her messenger bag until, finally, at the end of the day, Noelle knows she has to give them to Akarsha. She can’t come home with them in her bag — her mom will definitely catch her. They’ve got to go to someone — she doubts Diya or Min would be interested in volumizing shampoo, and Min abhors anything but the cheese flavor of Doritos, so Akarsha it (still) is.

 

Thankfully, they have baseball practice today, so after some careful coordinating with Diya and Min, Noelle is able to pull Akarsha out of the locker room before anyone else comes in to notice. “Geez, Noelle, I knew you always had the hots for me, but now’s really not the time for a random hookup — ” Akarsha starts. (She smells like oranges. This is not good.) Noelle doesn’t let her finish.

 

“Shut up,” she says, rifling through her bag to grab her offerings. When she presents Akarsha with the Doritos and shampoo, Akarsha’s sole response is to furrow her brow.

 

“I don’t get it.” 

 

Noelle sighs. Explanations about gifts are exhaustingly painful to give. “You’ve been acting strange ever since the, um, _incident_ with Grace in English class, and frankly, I just want you to get back to normal, so. Here you go.” 

 

“Wow, that totally wasn’t the least sincere apology I’ve ever heard,” Akarsha replies, crossing her arms. Noelle doesn’t understand why she looks so irritated. “You sure this isn’t about something else? Because you’ve been acting pretty weird, too.”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she huffs. Her collar suddenly feels too tight — is she sweating? It’s barely even 60 degrees out — 

 

Akarsha steps forward, closing the gap between them. Noelle suddenly forgets how to breathe. Apparently she’s allergic to sunlight now. “Every time you think I’m flirting with someone, you get all weird,” she says, the accusatory undercurrent in her tone clear. “Like with Liz at baseball practice a couple weeks ago, and Grace in English last week. Even with Camille, who you _barely know_. You nearly bit her head off.” Akarsha backs up, a smirk spreading across her features. “It’s pretty obvious to me what’s going on,” she concludes.

 

“Which is what, exactly?” Noelle retorts.

 

“You like me, and you’re jealous.” 

 

Noelle’s not sure if Akarsha’s joking, if this is another one of her twisted pranks, or if she’s serious, but what she is sure of is that the earth feels like it’s tilting. 

 

Her lack of a response is clearly enough of an answer for the both of them, and Akarsha’s eyes go wide with shock. “Wait, uh, I was joking, Noelle — that was supposed to be a joke, why do you look so upset—”

 

“Leave me alone” is the first thing that tumbles out of her mouth as she stalks off in the direction of the locker room.

 

“Noelle, hold up—”

 

_THWACK_!

 

Noelle’s distinctly aware of a throbbing in her forehead as she topples backwards, elbows scraping against the pavement. She’s just pulled a Min, she thinks. She genuinely just smacked into the locker room door. God, how stupid must she look?

 

Of course Akarsha’s at her side in an instant, offering her hand to pull her up. “You okay?” she asks. There’s a kindness in her voice Noelle’s not well-acquainted with.

 

“Yeah,” she mutters, brushing the dirt off her clothes. She’ll have to do laundry when she gets home.

 

Then there’s a hand on her face, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear, and Noelle starts. “Sorry,” Akarsha laughs, almost breathlessly, pulling her hand back. “You had a thing. It’s just — you do realize that I wasn’t really flirting with any of those girls, right? It was practice flirting, like for the real deal. Ask Diya, I did it to her a bunch before she and Min started dating.”

 

“Wha — huh — ” Yeah, Noelle’s fairly certain that wasn’t a coherent sentence.

 

“The real deal being you,” Akarsha continues. She’s staring her right in the eyes, and it would almost be uncomfortable if there weren’t a strange kind of softness in Akarsha’s gaze, something that makes Noelle feel safe. Okay. Like she might have just run right into a door, or accidentally figured out she’s gay, but she’s going to be just fine.

 

“I like you, Noelle. And I’ve been legit flirting with you for months, in case you haven’t noticed,” Akarsha finishes. She’s smiling, but Noelle can tell it’s one of those nervous smiles, a practiced kind of grin meant to hide how she actually feels, like the kind she sports right before a math test.

 

“Oh.” She doesn’t know what to say. She knows she likes what Akarsha’s saying, but she has no idea how to actually respond to it. 

 

“Can I maybe kiss you?” Akarsha’s voice shakes just a little, and in the back of Noelle’s mind, she tucks that away for later. Maybe Akarsha’s not always fearless and impenetrable; maybe Noelle prefers that.

 

“I wouldn’t be opposed,” she manages to get out, and then, well. Then, Akarsha’s lips are on hers, and Noelle can’t remember what anything else feels like.

 

(Liz doesn’t have the heart to scold them when she catches them five minutes later.)

 

••••

Akarsha is not something Noelle is accustomed to.

 

But she’s starting to learn to embrace the unfamiliar.

**Author's Note:**

> many thanks to the wonderful anon who sent me the idea to include an actual French student in the fic for Noelle to get jealous over. you are a godsend and ily!!!
> 
> thank you for reading. i hope you enjoyed! <3


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